Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Check out the following article (by yours truly) which was originally posted on WOMEN.COM (awesome site by the way):

5 Ways to Feel Closer to Your Partner this Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day on Tuesday, many women are flooded with “Vietnam flashbacks” of last year’s Valentine’s Day disappointment.  For some of you it may sound or look like this:

“…so there we were sitting in the most beautiful restaurant, eating the most delicious food, and I felt like I was doing all of the talking!  He just sat there, looking like he was listening but I wonder if he even cared about one thing I said…”

Ladies, if this is you then have no fear because I have a specific roadmap for you to follow which can definitely increase your chances of connecting with your main man this Valentine’s Day.  First off, men by nature are kinetic.  Meaning they connect to ideas through motion and being physical whereas women connect in a more verbal way.  In fact, research shows that men have a higher capacity to learn when they are physical and moving.  So if you want your husband to listen to you, then you need to connect with him in a way that he biologically can and here’s how:

1)  TOUCH – We underestimate the power of touch.  Between Facebook, Twitter, texting, Skyping, etc., people are less and less in the same physical vicinity let alone touching each other.  When was the last time you walked up to your husband and just grabbed him and gave him a BIG bear hug?  Take advantage of getting that oxytocin (the bonding hormone) flowing between the two of you and give him a good, tight, at least 10-second squeeze on Valentine’s Day morning.

2) PLAN A PHYSICAL ACTIVITY WITH HIM – If you have high hopes of engaging in verbal conversation with your partner on V-day, plan a walk or hike with him.  No, I’m not kidding.  Any form of physical activity (even hanging out with him while he’s golfing, etc.) will allow that kinetic part of his wiring to help him feel more inspired to not only talk to you, but tolisten to you. So know your audience and get moving with him.

To read the rest of this post, check out my article on Women.com HERE.

To all of you: Wishing you a beautiful Valentine’s Day full of hugs and lots and lots of connective moments with the people you love…

Are you a parent with teens living in the Los Angeles or surrounding areas? If so, read on:

PARENTING SEMINAR—TEENAGES: WONDER YEARS OR WORRY YEARS?

Sunday, March 4, 1:00–5:00 p.m.

$50 General; $40 Skirball Members; $30 Full-Time Students with ID

Advance registration required: Register on site at the Skirball, online at www.skirball.org, or by phone at (310) 440-4651 and press 2.

Help your teen children grow into responsible, caring, and secure young adults and discover how to keep your teens’ development on track and foster positive behaviors. This dynamic half-day seminar helps parents improve their understanding of the teenage brain and sheds light on the challenges of parenting a teen.

Parents will explore how to harness the advances in brain science to improve communication, recognize opportunities for optimizing development and emotional growth, and understand the vulnerabilities facing teens. As children move into their pre-adolescent and adolescent years, how can parents help them grow into mature young adults? Are confounding behaviors that include defiance, risk-taking and rebelling simply stages on the way to establishing independence from authority figures?

Dr. John M. Watkins, distinguished clinical psychologist and specialist in the field of neuropsychology, will decode the latest research in his keynote lecture, “The Teen Brain: What Neuroscience Can Teach Us about Emotional Development in Adolescents.” Advances in neuroscience help us understand how and why the developing adolescent brain differs from the adult brain and can help parents answer the question, “What was my teen thinking?”

Learn about the following topics: what motivates teens; what is the reward center; and how social acceptance or social exclusion affect your child. The seminar will also address the topics of peer pressure and what kind of environments are important for teen maturation and development of empathy.

Following the keynote address, a panel of teens will share what is on their minds, including their perspective on their challenges and hopes for the future, which will be facilitated by child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist Dr. David Meltzer.

The seminar will conclude with breakout sessions for parents, led by Institute for Contemporary Psychoanalysis-trained mental health professionals. Please bring questions and challenging scenarios from everyday life for discussion to help you reflect on and process your relationship with your teen. You will also learn the necessary skills to recognize situations that need professional help.

One of the most KEY ingredients to having a satisfying marriage just might be at your fingertips so watch the video below and then after, make sure you read the article below the video:

So now that you’ve watched the video, read the following article http://www.women.com/reinventing-yourself/ and let me know what you think!

Happy New Year to you all!!!  Now let’s cut to the chase:

Just because I write and create these videos about how to be smarter in your marriage doesn’t mean that I’m always perfect (hardly, and if anyone tells you that they are, ask them what he or she is smoking).  I’m a work in progress just like the rest of you and to prove it I’d like to share with you my Top 10 “Wife” Resolutions for 2012:

1. Listen better –  This means that when my husband is talking to me, I’m practicing setting aside my own ego driven thoughts, feelings, mental rants so that I can give myself the chance to actually understand him (imagine that, right??).  And yes, he may not be conscious of it but when I’m not really listening, he probably feels it.  Hence, listening to him all around is SMART.
2. Validate what he does do –  Here’s the hard cold facts:   His idea of “helping me” is constantly loading up the washer with the kids’ laundry.  My fantasy idea of him “helping me” is him throwing the kids in the car on a Saturday at 8:00 am (without me even asking – oh how delicious) for a fun filled morning and not returning with them till lunch time.  For now, it’s just smarter for me to say “thank you” to what he is already doing and not turn into a constant complaining bitch.
3. Offer more hugs to him –  If I need and expect the hugs so badly, then why wouldn’t he?
4. Stop complaining ad nauseum about whatever –  Talking like a victim is just note sexy.  Period.
5. Accept responsibility –  Just own it rather than spending endless minutes trying to explain to him why I feel like I’m not wrong.  Basically, validate his damn feelings for pete’s sake.  Would it kill me? No…it wouldn’t.
6. Once the kids are in bed, less time on Facebook, and more time time with husband -  I know very well that actions speak louder than words to him.
7. Clean up enabling patterns from 2011 –  Ewwwww.  God dammit, I did it again this year.  Time to clean up any of “those” bad habits that sprung up again this past year.
8. Postpone serious conversations when I’ve only had 3 hours of sleep – Oh, yes.  I tripped over that one this past year and it was not pretty.  I might as well have loaded up on some hallucinogenic, agro-steroid drug and tried talking to him then.  Note to self:  Be smart and go the f*** to bed.
9. Remind myself that under his tough, alpha exterior, that he has feelings too –  Having a penis does not equal absence of feelings…quite the contrary.
10. Surrender more to the fact that it’s not my job to fix him/help him/change him, etc. –  My job is to help me.  As far as him, my job is to allow him to be in charge of his own journey and be of support when needed.  With that said, God help me…

So there you have it folks…My personal Top 10 “Wife” Resolutions for 2012.   What are YOURS?? We’d love to hear from you…write us or leave a comment below.

Also, check out my article on Women.com – Top 10 Basic Needs for Every Woman in 2012.  Enjoy and come back on Thursday for more New Year’s tips!