THIS WEEK ONLY!

My friends over at Leoluca Handbags are offering 15% off ALL of their handbags in stock.

YUMMY.

Check out their fall line as well as their colorful new spring line…they’re pretty frickin’ sweet.

Use promo code: BTSWfabulous15off

Happy Shopping!

During a visit last week to our local bookstore I was stopped by a moment or irony and humor:  I was looking  for a specific book (different than the ones above ’cause I already own both).  Suddenly, I noticed the above stack of books on one of the shelves and thought to myself, “DUH…of course there’s only ONE of The Male Brain books left” while the stack of The Female Brain looked as if the “audience” it was written for had no interest in purchasing it…

It was the ultimate Kodak moment and within seconds I whipped out my phone to take the above picture for you all to not only see, but to make peace with:

Ladies, your man does not think like you nor like any of your friends with a vagina.  Most men are just not as hungry as we women are to know the why, the how, the who and any other crumb of an answer to explain to us why the world ticks the way it does.  If sometimes you find yourself feeling annoyed and frustrated by his disinterest in certain things (compared to you), take solace in the fact that he’ll probably never be as complicated as you or your girlfriends and that can actually be very refreshing at times.

However, know that just because he’s not running to buy The Female Brain as quickly as you sprinted to buy, read and tell all of your girlfriends about The Male Brain, that that bears no meaning on his committment to you and the relationship.  Sometimes, men just respond to the world differently than we do and visa-verse.

So for the sake of you and your marriage, be smart and just accept what I have shared here with you all today.

Come back next Tuesday for more smart marriage tips!

Check out the following article (by yours truly) which was originally posted on WOMEN.COM (awesome site by the way):

5 Ways to Feel Closer to Your Partner this Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day on Tuesday, many women are flooded with “Vietnam flashbacks” of last year’s Valentine’s Day disappointment.  For some of you it may sound or look like this:

“…so there we were sitting in the most beautiful restaurant, eating the most delicious food, and I felt like I was doing all of the talking!  He just sat there, looking like he was listening but I wonder if he even cared about one thing I said…”

Ladies, if this is you then have no fear because I have a specific roadmap for you to follow which can definitely increase your chances of connecting with your main man this Valentine’s Day.  First off, men by nature are kinetic.  Meaning they connect to ideas through motion and being physical whereas women connect in a more verbal way.  In fact, research shows that men have a higher capacity to learn when they are physical and moving.  So if you want your husband to listen to you, then you need to connect with him in a way that he biologically can and here’s how:

1)  TOUCH – We underestimate the power of touch.  Between Facebook, Twitter, texting, Skyping, etc., people are less and less in the same physical vicinity let alone touching each other.  When was the last time you walked up to your husband and just grabbed him and gave him a BIG bear hug?  Take advantage of getting that oxytocin (the bonding hormone) flowing between the two of you and give him a good, tight, at least 10-second squeeze on Valentine’s Day morning.

2) PLAN A PHYSICAL ACTIVITY WITH HIM – If you have high hopes of engaging in verbal conversation with your partner on V-day, plan a walk or hike with him.  No, I’m not kidding.  Any form of physical activity (even hanging out with him while he’s golfing, etc.) will allow that kinetic part of his wiring to help him feel more inspired to not only talk to you, but tolisten to you. So know your audience and get moving with him.

To read the rest of this post, check out my article on Women.com HERE.

To all of you: Wishing you a beautiful Valentine’s Day full of hugs and lots and lots of connective moments with the people you love…

image via askmegd.com

Are you a parent with teens living in the Los Angeles or surrounding areas? If so, read on:

PARENTING SEMINAR—TEENAGES: WONDER YEARS OR WORRY YEARS?

Sunday, March 4, 1:00–5:00 p.m.

$50 General; $40 Skirball Members; $30 Full-Time Students with ID

Advance registration required: Register on site at the Skirball, online at www.skirball.org, or by phone at (310) 440-4651 and press 2.

Help your teen children grow into responsible, caring, and secure young adults and discover how to keep your teens’ development on track and foster positive behaviors. This dynamic half-day seminar helps parents improve their understanding of the teenage brain and sheds light on the challenges of parenting a teen.

Parents will explore how to harness the advances in brain science to improve communication, recognize opportunities for optimizing development and emotional growth, and understand the vulnerabilities facing teens. As children move into their pre-adolescent and adolescent years, how can parents help them grow into mature young adults? Are confounding behaviors that include defiance, risk-taking and rebelling simply stages on the way to establishing independence from authority figures?

Dr. John M. Watkins, distinguished clinical psychologist and specialist in the field of neuropsychology, will decode the latest research in his keynote lecture, “The Teen Brain: What Neuroscience Can Teach Us about Emotional Development in Adolescents.” Advances in neuroscience help us understand how and why the developing adolescent brain differs from the adult brain and can help parents answer the question, “What was my teen thinking?”

Learn about the following topics: what motivates teens; what is the reward center; and how social acceptance or social exclusion affect your child. The seminar will also address the topics of peer pressure and what kind of environments are important for teen maturation and development of empathy.

Following the keynote address, a panel of teens will share what is on their minds, including their perspective on their challenges and hopes for the future, which will be facilitated by child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist Dr. David Meltzer.

The seminar will conclude with breakout sessions for parents, led by Institute for Contemporary Psychoanalysis-trained mental health professionals. Please bring questions and challenging scenarios from everyday life for discussion to help you reflect on and process your relationship with your teen. You will also learn the necessary skills to recognize situations that need professional help.

Let’s face it:  Valentine’s Day gets a lot of hype (thank you Hallmark).  I’ve seen many women who report feeling very disappointed by the end of the day because certain expectations were never met.   However,  I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy this annual festivity, but making sure that you have realistic expectations of your loved one will definitely allow you to enjoy the day more.  That said, here are my 5 Tips to a Satisfying Valentine’s Day:

1)  Don’t make dinner reservations that night – That’s right, you read correctly.  The restaurants will be crowded beyond because you’ll be dining with every couple on the face of the earth, and the pre-fixed menus will be jacked up to the sky.  Instead, make it for the night before or the night after.

2)  Remember who your husband is and set the standards from there – Unless you KNOW that your husband is a die-hard romantic and every year he enjoys going all out for you on Valentine’s day, then the two of you should have an agreement of what the frame is as far as celebrating Valentine’s Day.  For example, maybe you both agree to have a $50 limit on gift purchases for each other as there’s nothing worse than jumping through hoops to find your spouse the perfect lavish gift while the other receives a pair of socks.  Or maybe you both decide on no gifts/just a card, and maybe even agree to write more than: Love, Bill.  By the way, if you have a wise-ass husband, probably a good idea to add to that “a 3 sentence minimum” so that “writing more” doesn’t result in Love ALWAYS, Bill…

To read the rest of this post, check out my article today at HERE at A Mother World…I wish you all a sweet and satisfying day of LOVE.

WAIT!!! Did you enter our Valentine’s Day contest yet for the ultimate James Bond gift for HIM?? Don’t miss out because you still have until midnight Thursday 2/9 to enter…Enter HERE.

In case you didn’t know, your husband has secret fantasies of being James Bond in the movie GoldenEye while sipping his delicious bourbon.  That being said, let me tell you about the perfect gift for him this Valentine’s Day…

Introducing:  The Whiskey Lover’s Set (from one of my favorite on line gift sites Redenvelope.com).

The beautifully hand crafted glasses come with soapstone cubes designed by Andrew Hellman, a big fan of single malt scotch, who wanted to chill his spirits without diluting them.  After much research, he came up with the idea of using natural soapstone to chill drinks.  The best part:  the stones won’t scratch the glass and have the ability to retain temperature for extended periods of time.  The set includes six whiskey stones and two elegant sipping glasses, designed with sophisticated angles.  Simply chill the stones.  Add three to your drink, let stand for five minutes and enjoy.

Ready to give your hubby the gift of 007??  Then read our Valentine’s Day Contest details below and enter TODAY!

How to enter our Whiskey Lover’s Set contest:

• Make sure you have signed up for our monthly newsletter and check the box for the weekly blog updates (you must sign up in order to be entered)
• Click the LIKE button for Redenvelope.com Facebook Page.
• Reply to to this email (or send one to carin@bethesmartwife.com) by answering the following 5 questions about what you want to see more or less of on our site (feel free to cut and paste the below questions to your email):

1) Do you want more videos and less articles or visa-verse?

2) Are the videos too long or just right?

3) What topics do you want us to talk/write about more?

4) What have you enjoyed most about this blog?

5) What have you seen/read on this blog that has not been to your liking?

And that’s it!!

Contest ends at midnight on Thursday February 9th. Winner will be picked randomly and notified early the next day, just in time to order the fabulous Whiskey Lover’s Set for arrival on Tuesday the 14th!  Enter now.

* Check out these other fun gifts for your husband at Redenvelope.com:

- Personalized Beer Mugs

- Mr. Beer Brewing Kit

Ladies…psychic addiction is a true dilemma and is the furthest thing from smart.  If you are caught in the psychic addiction web or even tend to “dab” here and there, then please watch this Your Tango video which will hopefully shed a different light:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Be on the look out  for our Valentine’s Giveaway/Contest over the next few days!

Ever heard of iPeriod???  If not, you need to.

The brilliant app tracks your menstrual cycle while sending you alerts that your monthly “frenemy” is days away.

Now here’s what’s genius:  The wife-friend who told me about iPeriod also had her husband download the app so that HE is geared up and ready for her monthly hormonal adventure. Ummm…that’s more than smart — it’s frikkin’ genius…for BOTH of you.

So go on ladies…sign up for iPeriod and make sure your husband does too.  COME ON! Send it to him because it’s the closest he’ll ever get to having a vagina (aka: your fantasy of him even remotely thinking like your best girlfriend).

Enjoy!  ;)

image via winkpass.com/iperiod.html

Come back Thursday for more Smart Wife tips…

Click here to view the embedded video.

So now that you’ve watched the video, read the following article http://www.women.com/reinventing-yourself/ and let me know what you think!

Growing up in earthquake friendly California I became very familiar with the safety drill, “Drop, Cover, Hold on.”  Once the rumbling under my feet began to quiver, that’s exactly what did.

But today, let’s talk about the rumbling you’re feeling as a result of your anger.  Yes, possibly anger you feel toward your husband.  However, the big ole’ problem for many is that you’re not even aware of it, hence it’s spilling out sideways making an unnecessary mess for both you and him.  So let’s look at 3 of the most popular clues that there’s some serious anger rumbling inside of you and that it’s time to “Stop, Sit and Breath”:

1) Physical Visceral Sensation – Ever experience this:  You and your spouse are talking, he says something that was not very polite, and all of a sudden your body starts to feel as if hot liquid is running through your veins starting from your feet and going straight up?  I have also heard women report how their stomach felt as if it was going to explode like a boiling pot after a certain interaction with their husband.  These are both very common somatic reactions that some women feel when either not feeling connected to their emotion of anger or (without knowing) not feeling confident to even feel or express their anger to their husband.

Solution:  Well, your body is clearly screaming to you, “I AM SO F***ING PISSED!!!!!!” That being said, for god’s sake listen to your body!  Every red siren is going off and it’s your job to honor your feelings, and understand them so that you can communicate your anger appropriately.  The alternative is to become that boiling pot you are feeling in the depths of your gut, which would be a huge hot mess.  Definitely not smart.

2) Hyper critical comments – Come on…no one likes a nit picker and I know you don’t like watching yourself overly harping on your husband every time he doesn’t make the bed The Four Seasons style (he made the frikkin’ bed so be happy).  So if it’s not like you to be snipping at every move that he makes, yet you’re obsessed with every little “mistake” he makes lately, then MAYBE it’s time to pay attention to clue #2.  Maybe your not-so-normal critical statements are really about underlying anger you’re feeling toward him about something that has nothing to do with how he makes the bed.

Solution:  Once you recognize and hear your snipping voice at him, STOP.  It’s time to get into rumbling safety mode where you literally need to stop, sit and breath.  Try to get into touch with what the feelings really are inside of you before engaging with him in conversation.  What are you feeling? Underneath all the anger, are you really feeling sad about something in the marriage? Etc.  Once you connect with yourself, you are in a much better place to communicate your feelings effectively.  Nit picking will only push him away more. where as  if you own your feelings, he just might hear you.  Smart.

3) Zero Interest in Sex - Oh how I wish I could collect a dollar every time I heard a woman complain how sex with her husband is the last thing on her mind while simultaneously not feeling very appreciated by her husband lateley.  Ladies, if all your life you’ve had a healthy libido and suddenly one day (poof!), it’s just gone, then (pending there are no physical issues or immediate crises) chances are that you’re feeling something and I’m going to guess it might be anger.

Solution: It amazes me how so many women are automatically feeling more attracted to their partner once she has had the opportunity to work through her anger in an appropriate way.  So if sexy times have been completely void and you think that you may be one of those closet angry wives, then it’s time for a serious check in with yourself about what you are truly feeling so that you don’t end up depriving yourself of one of life’s very simple pleasures (yes, sex).  Journal, mediate, talk to a friend, talk to a counselor, take a walk alone, etc., do whatever you can do to connect to the feelings.  Once you do that, be brave and take advantage of what could actually become an intimate opportunity for the two of you by sharing with him what’s troubling you in the marriage.  Own your feelings and ask him to just listen.  If all goes well, here’s the cherry:  HUG.  Yes, hug for at least 10 seconds.  Get that oxytocin (bonding hormone) flowing and in no time your friendly libido will be happily back in town.

Come back this Thursday for more tips on how to be smart in your marriage…

Hmmmm…

Well, when it comes to your marriage…not so much. It’s more like:  Ignornace is piss.

(Sorry for the potty humor – - clearly I’m around 6 year old boys too much.)

Let’s face it ladies:  not being aware of what’s not working in your marriage is a recipe for a disaster.  So coming off the heels of Tuesday’s post about how your past can effect your confidence within your marriage, I decided to share another of my Your Tango videos about how your unawareness of old unhealthy relationships can effect not only the kind of partner you choose, but how you choose to be in the relationship.

So to all my divorcee ladies out there, if you’re worried about making similar choices the second time around, have no fear and watch today’s video for some good tips:

Click here to view the embedded video.