Sh*t.
Another year just FRIKKIN’ FLEW by…
…and so will next year.
That being said, what will YOU do to make your new “wife year” different, better, happier, healthier, stronger, more satisfying, SMARTER, etc.??
(I’ll tell you what I’m focusing on doing, but that’s one of my posts for next week…ha.)
Ladies, it’s a brand new f*cking year and the only person who can make it better is YOU, so let’s close out the year with our top BTSW posts from 2011…
…but before I do allow me to say THANK YOU to all of you who tune in here every week and who write in with your comments, questions, thoughts, feelings, etc…I appreciate each and every one of you. Stay tuned to 2012 as “Be the Smart Wife” brings you a “whole lot-ta” new and different nuggets through out the new year!
Top 10 Posts of 2011
#1 Your husband Wants a Threesome?!?!
#2 Date Night Options for Any Couple
#3 What to do With Those Damn Feelings
#4 One Very Simple Tip to Rev Up the Sex
#5 The Difference Between Him and Her
#6 You’re beating a Dead Horse
#8 Don’t be the Dummy Wife Like I Was Last Month
#9 The False Alarm D-bomb is a Big No-No
#10 Here’s How You May be Torturing Yourself in your Marriage
Posts will resume again after Jan 2nd so see you all then and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!
“We are entering an era, finally, when both men and women can begin to understand their distinct biology and how it affects their lives. If we know how a biological brain state is guiding our impulses, we can choose how to act, or not act at all, rather than merely following our compulsions. If you’re a man, this knowledge not only can help you understand and harness your unique male brain power, but it can also help you to understand your sons, your father and the other men in your life. If you’re a woman, this book will help you to interpret and comprehend the intricacies of the male brain. With that new information, you can help your sons and husbands…It is my hope that this book will help the male brain to be seen and understood as the fine-tuned and complex instrument that it actually is.”
- Dr. Louise Brizendine, “The Male Brain”
The above writing is from the book I told you to buy for YOU as a gift this holiday season. Yes, I’m still drinking the Kool-aid with this book and you should be too, because knowing how and why your husband ticks the way he does is always always SMART.
Need I say more??
Buy the book here and enjoy some VALUABLE holiday reading:
http://www.amazon.com/Male-Brain-Louann-Brizendine-M-D/dp/0767927532
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey
Your marriage will never be perfect but if you take the time to enjoy what IS good in your marriage, then I bet your glass will start looking pretty darn inviting.
Today is a good day to start filling up that glass…Be thankful for what is in the glass RIGHT NOW.
image via theundomesticproject.com
image via http://scaredstable.com
Kim, Kim , Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim…….oh dear Kim Kardashian, how I wish you had read my post from last May where even little ol’ me predicted your future (heck, it could have even saved you 10 million dollars)…
(Sigh)
Not quite sure what else to say about Ms. Kim’s recent marital break up except that I continue to shake my head at the society we live in: Celebrities who have SO much influence over our youth who then model their impulsive decisions to the entire world.
However, to all you wives out there who were shaking with envy over Kim’s ring, well, read my article from last May and see how there is simply nothing to be envious about. Furthermore, if you really want to be thinking SMART when it comes to your relationships and marriage, for god sake, please be careful who you choose as your role models…
What do YOU think about Kim and Kris’s current status? Feel free to write in your thoughts and reactions…
image via http://divorce.beautyhill.com
______________________________________________________________________________________
An extra scoop for today’s post:
CASTING CALL FOR MARRIED COUPLES! FROM THE PRODUCERS OF “SUPERNANNY” AND “REAL HOUSWIVES OF NY”…
Shed Media US, the producers of ABC’s “SUPERNANNY” and “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK” is currently casting a new docu-series for a major network for married couples whose love life has gone from “sizzle” to “fizzle”! Whether it’s the kids, a career, schedules, weight issues, unresolved past issues, or just life in general, your love life has taken a back seat! The series will involve 7 days of romantic homework assignments to help couples rekindle and reconnect with the passion that brought you together in the beginning. If you are ready to TRANSFORM your love life, please contact Casting Producer (info below) immediately with photos, location, and your story:
Annette Ivy
Casting Producer
Shed Media US
3800 Barham Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90064
323-904-4680 x1208
aivy@shedmediaus.com
So you think ya know it all, huh?
OK.
Well…
…good for you.
Um, I kind of hate to break it to you, but you know what???
You don’t.
Nope. You don’t.
Which leads me to this past month’s post, Top 10 Mistaken Beliefs a Smart Wife Must Let Go Of, and today we’re focusing on Mistaken Belief #5: SHE KNOWS BETTER THAN HE…
When it comes to your marriage, you don’t always know better than he does. Look, I’m SURE there are times when the obvious is SO obvious and for whatever reason your husband will never “get it” the way you do, but believe it or not there are times when he just may actually have the upper hand when it comes to a specific thought, an opinion, a perspective, etc. That said, it would behoove your marriage greatly for you to honor and respect your husband as an equal to you. Undermining him will only create a greater distance between you two, his resentment will rise, and you’ll both get caught in a viscious cycle of negativity, ultimately eroding the connection. However, even if you ARE right in the situation, it doesn’t mean that you should be pointing out each and every “correction.” Some things (not EVERYTHING, some things) are just better left alone. So pick your battles and BE SMART.
Come back next week for Mistaken Beliefs #6 & #7…
NEWEST YOUR TANGO VIDEO
Okay folks…so first off, let me just preface the below video by saying that the video is intended mostly for women who are dating or who are in a new phase in their life looking for the right partner and have just recently met a new person. One person wrote in and asked what does one do if the sex is truly sub par…do you settle???
Last Tuesday’s post I shard with you the Top 10 Mistaken Beliefs a Smart Wife Must Let Go Of and today I’m going to get into the nitty gritty of belief #1 – Perfection Exists…
So here’s what I have to tell you: PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
Period. End of story. Relinquish the Hollywood love story. Do it NOW. I beg of you…
Striving for perfection in life is only asking for one disappointment after another so one can imagine the plethora of dissappointment you will feel about your marriage should you bring the “perfection expectation” into the picture.
Here’s the deal: Perfection is another way of attempting control. Hmmmmmm…….don’t throw anything at me, but you’re not in control. You’re not, nor is the person next to you, your husband, your marriage, your child, your best friend, no one and the sooner you let go of the need to be perfect, the sooner you and your marriage will benefit.
Marriage is a journey with it’s ups and downs, this way and that way, sideways and diagnol, and every other direction you can imagine and the ONLY thing you can at least try to do is manage your reaction to the “ride.” We’re all human and we’re all flawed, yet it is not only our imperfections that allow us to experience the most growth in marriage, but having the courage to connect to those imperfections and learn something from them.
Accepting the imperfections within you, your husband and your marriage will actually allow your marriage to thrive. So BE SMART and let go of the impossible.
image via hassankanj.blogspot.com
Come back this Tuesday for my thoughts on false belief #2: ”He thinks like you.”
So what exactly is a “SMART WIFE”?
That’s a DAMN good question and as we continue to shape the voice of this blog, I have decided to share our evolving process here with YOU.
That said, here’s my first answer……………….there is no ONE answer.
But I will tell you this: A SMART wife is connected to her core, or what I like to call, a trust within herself. That ‘TRUST” within (or lack there of) connects to a plethora of different parts: her emotions, thoughts, beliefs, values, expectations, etc. Between now and the end of the year, I will be sharing with you all some very important thoughts, tips and ideas that a “Smart Wife” should seriously embody. Below is one of my top ten lists to share and over the next 5 weeks, I will go into specific detail (via written posts and videos) for each number. So for now, I hope you take the time to let the following list marinate in your thoughts:
The Top 10 Mistaken Beliefs a Smart Wife Must Let Go Of
- Perfection exists (in people, marriage, the world, etc.)
- Her husband thinks like her
- Lack of sex is no big deal
- Controlling actions are okay
- She knows better than he
- Because he’s a man he’s not interested in connecting with her
- Everyone’s needs come before hers
- Marriage is Black and White
- Love is unconditional
- A long lasting healthy marriage should be effortless
Remember, the above are FALSE beliefs. Let go of them. Your marriage will thank you.
image via karing4u.blogspot.com
Come back Thursday for my thoughts about false belief #1: Perfection exists…(NOT)
Don’t Forget: CONTEST ENDS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT!!
Don’t forget to enter last week’s CONTEST to win a free copy of Jenna McCarthy’s new book, “If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.”
Check out Jenna’s hilarious book trailer and if you want the book no matter what, order her book NOW!
Also, check out Jenna’s interview on the TODAY show where she talks about this genius book.
The two winners will be notified this Wednesday October 12th — Good luck!!
Is this you???
If the answer is yes, then check out my newest video from Your Tango’s “Ask an Expert” series where I address this very common issue among many couples out there…
CONTEST! CONTEST! CONTEST!
Don’t forget to enter this week’s CONTEST to win a free copy of Jenna McCarthy’s new book, “If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.”
Check out Jenna’s hilarious book trailer and order her book NOW!
Also, check out Jenna’s interview on the TODAY show where she talks about this genius book.
In this past Tuesday’s post I was thrilled to share with you all the book trailer for Jenna McCarthy’s new book, “If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon:Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.”
To tell you that Jenna is one of the most hilarious female writers out there would not be doing her writing justice, so I took it upon myself to share with you all 10 questions I asked Jenna about marriage, husbands and her experience as a wife. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:
(and don’t forget to sign up for our CONTEST where we’re giving away 2 of her books!)
Click here for our CONTEST details on how to win a copy of her new book OR you can pre-order it NOW!
To see more of Jenna, tune into the TODAY show on Monday October 3rd, so set your DVRs now!
When you said “I do,” you promised you’d stick it out no matter how sick, poor or miserable you got. Now you realize till death do us part is a really long time. Happily ever after? Perhaps a slight exaggeration…
The above quote was written by the hilarious author (and new friend) Jenna McCarthy whose book, “If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married“ is available for pre-order NOW!
Trust me when I tell you that this author is H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S and to wet your appetite, check out below the book trailer as well as details on how to win a free copy of Jenna’s new book!
WIN A COPY OF JENNA McCARTHY’S BOOK HERE!
Send me a juicy, honest and/or hilarious answer to this question:
Which one of your husband’s “habits” have you learned to accept and live with?? (Hence you’re being SMART because we all have to pick our battles in marriage)
Seriously. That’s ALL you have to do! On Tuesday October 11th I will pick 2 random winners!
Want MORE chances to win? Well then, keep reading…
1) Follow me on TWITTER and RT this:
Want some healthy marriage laughs? Follow and RT @BeTheSmartWife to win a copy of @jennawrites latest new book http://bit.ly/odoyWW #BTSWcontest
2) If you have a blog, link back to this post and contact me via my contact form telling me you did so, with the link so I can find it.
3) On the “Be the Smart Wife” Facebook page, leave a comment there and tell me your latest SMART WIFE tip. Your single comment could win!
Good luck! Looking forward to reading all of your own marriage tales and laughs…
Come back on Friday to read one of the funniest Q and A’s between myself and Jenna McCarthy where she shares with us her witty and wise thoughts about marriage!
