The Enabling Dilemma
This isn’t the first time I’m writing about the topic of enabling.
Because unfortunately, we women do it — a lot.
I consistently see women allowing a husband, boyfriend, partner, etc. to not take any responsibility for their part in any given situation. Sometimes the situation is obvious and sometimes the situation is subtle. Regardless, my hope is that these specific posts will become an empowering source for you to keep stepping out of the enabling trap with your partner so that not enabling becomes your new norm.
Today I share with you advice (which all of you can gain from — not just working mothers) when it comes to taking on any burden in your marriage where your husband is absolved of any responsibility. Below is advice which I was honored to give in the recent book I Love Mondays: and Other Confessions from Devoted Working Moms by Michelle Cove (a great book by the way):
“As mothers, we are the masters of keeping the ship’s engine running smoothly and effectively, all while multitasking till we’re blue in the face. Hence it is our innate ability to spring into action when a child is in need. However, we shoot ourselves in the foot when we displace that innate impulse onto our husbands, who call in a panic because little Johnny threw up all over himself. Ladies, I have three works for you: stop enabling him. It’s one thing if he’s calling you because the house is on fire (literally), but it’s another thing when he needs to call ‘mommy’ to rescue him from being the other parent.”
The author responded to my quote with: He really will figure it out.
She’s right, but as long as you keep jumping to the rescue, we won’t have to do a damn thing. So be smart and let him figure it out.
p.s. – if you buy the book, my quote is on page 84