Top 10 Resolutions From a Wife Striving to Be Smart in 2012
Happy New Year to you all!!! Now let’s cut to the chase:
Just because I write and create these videos about how to be smarter in your marriage doesn’t mean that I’m always perfect (hardly, and if anyone tells you that they are, ask them what he or she is smoking). I’m a work in progress just like the rest of you and to prove it I’d like to share with you my Top 10 “Wife” Resolutions for 2012:
- Listen better – This means that when my husband is talking to me, I’m practicing setting aside my own ego driven thoughts, feelings, mental rants so that I can give myself the chance to actually understand him (imagine that, right??). And yes, he may not be conscious of it but when I’m not really listening, he probably feels it. Hence, listening to him all around is SMART.
- Validate what he does do – Here’s the hard cold facts: His idea of “helping me” is constantly loading up the washer with the kids’ laundry. My fantasy idea of him “helping me” is him throwing the kids in the car on a Saturday at 8:00 am (without me even asking – oh how delicious) for a fun filled morning and not returning with them till lunch time. For now, it’s just smarter for me to say “thank you” to what he is already doing and not turn into a constant complaining bitch.
- Offer more hugs to him – If I need and expect the hugs so badly, then why wouldn’t he?
- Stop complaining ad nauseum about whatever – Talking like a victim is just note sexy. Period.
- Accept responsibility – Just own it rather than spending endless minutes trying to explain to him why I feel like I’m not wrong. Basically, validate his damn feelings for pete’s sake. Would it kill me? No…it wouldn’t.
- Once the kids are in bed, less time on Facebook, and more time time with husband - I know very well that actions speak louder than words to him.
- Clean up enabling patterns from 2011 – Ewwwww. God dammit, I did it again this year. Time to clean up any of “those” bad habits that sprung up again this past year.
- Postpone serious conversations when I’ve only had 3 hours of sleep – Oh, yes. I tripped over that one this past year and it was not pretty. I might as well have loaded up on some hallucinogenic, agro-steroid drug and tried talking to him then. Note to self: Be smart and go the f*** to bed.
- Remind myself that under his tough, alpha exterior, that he has feelings too – Having a penis does not equal absence of feelings…quite the contrary.
- Surrender more to the fact that it’s not my job to fix him/help him/change him, etc. – My job is to help me. As far as him, my job is to allow him to be in charge of his own journey and be of support when needed. With that said, God help me…
So there you have it folks…My personal Top 10 “Wife” Resolutions for 2012. What are YOURS?? We’d love to hear from you…write us or leave a comment below.